


no retreat, no regrets

by torigates



Category: Primeval
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:16:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After helping to save the world, Jess has a wedding to plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	no retreat, no regrets

 

 

  
The thing with the train turned out to be an anomaly. Jess wasn’t sure whether she should be upset about it, or just grateful that she would still have a job. Then there was another anomaly, and another one. Jess didn’t have much time to think about it after that.

It was good. Jess was happy to have her life back without the threat of the end of the world hanging over all their heads. Things went back to normal. Or as “normal” as it could get for a bunch of scientists who regularly fought off creatures from the past.

And on top of that they were planning a wedding.

Technically, Abby and Connor were planning a wedding, but Jess had never seen two people less suited to the task (unless those people were Matt and Becker). It wasn’t that they weren’t excited about tying the knot. Connor got a dopey smile on his face any time he mentioned Abby, or someone else mentioned her, or she was in the room. Well, actually he just had a dopey smile on his face pretty much all the time these days, and Abby looked happier than Jess could ever remember seeing her. But ask either one of them to pick a reception hall, or what kind of flowers they wanted, or what their colour scheme should be and both of them would shut down quicker than Captain Becker when confronted with anything approaching emotions. (Not that Jess was bitter about that or anything.)

As such, most of the wedding planning fell to Jess and Emily (and, surprisingly, Lester. The man had shockingly good taste, Jess could not deny it). Jess joked that the couple wouldn’t even know which day to show up, let alone where the wedding was actually being held. Actually, both of them would probably be happy just getting married at the ARC with Lester officiating.

“That’s a great idea,” Connor said, when Jess brought it up.

“No it’s not,” she told him.

“It is,” he said with an excited grin. “Don’t you think so, Abby?”

Abby just shrugged.

“It’s really, really not,” Jess assured him.

“Why?” he asked. “We spend enough time here as it is.” Abby nodded beside him.

“Exactly!” Jess protested. “Are you insane? We spend enough time here as it is, sometimes I feel like we live here. Are you honestly telling me you’d want to have your _wedding_ here?”

Abby shrugged again. “Why not? It definitely would make things easier.” She paused. “Besides, it’ll keep the guest list down to an appropriate size. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that list that you and Emily have been passing back and forth between yourselves. How many names are even on that list? I don’t think I even know that many people.”

Jess sighed. “Are you serious?” she asked.

Abby and Connor shared a look, and slowly a grin blossomed over Connor’s face. After a moment Abby smiled back at him. Jess envied how they could have an entire conversation in just one look.

“Yes,” Abby said. “We’re serious.”

Jess threw up her hands in frustration.

“Just think,” Connor said. “This’ll make things easier when the inevitable anomaly pops up on the day.”

Jess smacked him. “Don’t even joke about that,” she scolded.

The big day arrived with shockingly little fanfare, drama or meltdowns. Jess thought Abby was probably the most relaxed bride she had ever seen. Although, when one’s daily life involved facing dinosaurs on a regular basis, she could concede that a wedding wasn’t all that scary.

Abby looked beautiful in her dress, and she actually allowed Emily and Jess as her bridesmaids to wear ridiculously gorgeous dresses. Jess watched with a smile as Emily tugged on the hem of her cobalt blue strapless dress. It went just to above her knees, and she looked amazing. Jess did too, if she didn’t say so herself.

“Stop fussing,” Jess told her. “You look great.”

Emily fidgeted. “I’m just not used to showing this much leg.”

Jess smiled encouragingly. “Don’t worry,” she said. “You look wonderful. Matt will lose his mind a little bit when he sees you.”

A faint blush appeared on Emily’s cheeks. “You look lovely too,” she told Jess. “I’m sure the same is true about Captain Becker.”

Her own hemline was suddenly much more fascinating than it was a minute ago. Jess laughed. “Yes, well,” she said and trailed off, because there wasn’t much to say at this point.

It was obvious to everyone that Jess was completely smitten with Becker. For a while, Jess even thought it was obvious to him. Everything seemed to escalate between the the two of them what with the whole beetle infestation and almost dying thing. Then there was the whole averting the end of the world and everyone’s emotions were running on high. Jess thought--well, it didn’t much matter what she thought now. Nothing had happened between the two of them after that, and things went back to normal. Which for them meant overt flirting with absolutely no follow through.

But Jess wasn’t bitter about it. Really, she wasn’t.

“Ready to go?” Jess jumped at the sound of Captain Becker’s voice right beside him. She hadn’t noticed his and Matt’s appearance from the other room. They were both wearing suits and looking particularly handsome.

“You look very handsome,” Jess told them both.

Matt smiled his thanks, and held out his arm for Emily. Jess could hear the faint music that was their cue, and went to fetch Abby. When she returned Becker offered her his arm. She tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow, and he put his other hand over hers.

“You look beautiful,” he told her, his voice low in her ear. She shivered.

“Thank you,” she said.

Jess smiled at Conner waiting at the end of the makeshift aisle they had prepared for the main event. She tried not to feel sad over the fact that the only people in attendance were other ARC employees. It wasn’t that they weren’t a family here, because they were. The people she worked with were absolutely her family, but when faced with a reminder like this at how much the job took over her life, it made Jess a little sad for all the people she had left behind.

Becker squeezed her hand, and they parted. Everyone turned when the music changed and Abby walked in. All thoughts of sadness and regret were chased from her mind when she saw how beautiful and happy her friend looked. She snuck a glance at Connor, the grin her was currently sporting threatened to split his face in two. Even Lester was smiling.

She was unbelievably lucky to have these people in her life.

Lester said, “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” and they had kissed, and Jess may or may not have shed a few tears. It was wonderful.

She watched them share their first dance as a married couple, and wondered why she had ever thought getting married at the ARC was a bad idea. It was perfect. Just perfect.

“Would you like to dance?”

She looked up at Becker’s smiling face, to his offered hand. It was the second time he had managed to sneak up on her today.

She put her palm in his, and smiled at Abby as he led her onto the makeshift dance floor. Matt and Emily were already swaying together, along with a few other couples. His hand at the small of her back was sure and steady, and she forced herself to remember the countless other times he had touched her casually just like this. It didn’t mean anything.

She put her arms around his shoulders and his settled on her waist.

“You really do look beautiful,” he told her after a moment.

She smiled up at him. “Thank you,” she said. “So do you.”

He chuckled. “Thank you.”

“I can’t believe they’re married,” she said after they lapsed back into a comfortable silence.

He shook his head ruefully. “Me neither,” he admitted. “You should have seen what they were like when I first started here.”

She smiled up at him. “They managed to work it out in the end,” she said.

His fingers flexed briefly at her sides. “Yes,” he said. “I suppose they did.”

They continued to dance together, and after a moment Jess laid her head on his shoulder. His arms tightened around her.

Somehow they managed to make it through the entire night, food, speeches and all, Lester sent the newlyweds home with strict instructions not to show their faces at the office for a week (barring the end of the world). Jess hid her smile behind her hand. Lester wouldn’t want anyone to know they approved of his secret romantic side.

Jess thought about going home, but given it was Abby and Connor’s first night as a married couple, the idea was a little less appealing than normal. With all the actual wedding planning that had been going on she hadn’t spent much time thinking about the wedding night. The couple themselves probably had, but neither one of them mentioned anything to her. It was going to be awkward now.

She was halfheartedly considering just sleeping at the ARC, when Becker found her at her workstation.

“What are you still doing here?” he asked.

“Oh,” she said, and forced a laugh. “You know, just getting a little bit of work done.”

“Jess,” he said, and crossed his arms over his chest. It was cute that he thought he could get her to talk that way (even if the stance _did_ make his arms look extra appealing).

She shrugged her shoulders. “I thought Abby and Connor deserved to have the apartment to themselves,” she admitted. “Being their wedding night and all.”

He looked vaguely uncomfortable. “What are you going to do?” he asked after a minute.

She laughed. “Honestly? I’m not really sure. Maybe sleep here?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said.

“What?” she asked. “I’m not being ridiculous.” He just looked at her. “I’m not!” she protested. “It’s their wedding night, they deserve a little privacy.”

“I’m not arguing that they don’t. I’m just saying that you can’t sleep here.”

“I’ve slept in worse spots,” she said, and he raised his eyebrows questioningly. She waved him off. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Jessica,” he said in his best ‘don’t argue with me’ tone of voice.

“Becker,” she countered. “What would you have me do? Go to a hotel?”

“No,” he said. “You’re coming back to my place.”

The tone was so matter of fact that it stopped the words right in her throat. “Um,” she said.

He seemed to realise what he said, and they just stared at each other for a long moment. “To sleep,” he finally clarified. “There’s no point in you sleeping here when I have room at my flat.”

Jess hesitated. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go with him back to his apartment. She did. She wanted that more than anything, and she’d been waiting for him to ask her around his place for over two years. This just wasn’t how she had imagined it all those times.

“Um,” she said again. He just looked at her. “Okay,” she relented finally. “Thank you, that’s very kind.”

He put his arm around her shoulder and the two of them walked out together.

Jess would be lying if she said she had never spent any time imagining what Becker’s flat looked like. Even still, she had no idea what to expect when he turned the key in the lock and opened the door.

“Welcome,” he said.

Jess stepped inside and toed off her shoes, letting out a soft sigh. She loved her shoes, she really did, but there was no better feeling than stepping out of them after a long day. When she turned to face him, she had to look away from his gaze. She felt suddenly vulnerable standing barefoot in his apartment. There was something intimate about it.

Instead, she looked around. The apartment was neat but not sparse. There were bookshelves, and even a few pictures on the wall.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Do you want anything to drink?” he asked. “Eat?”

Jess shook her head. “No thank you,” she said. “May I use your loo to change?”

He nodded and pointed down the hall. “Just on the right there,” he said.

She smiled and turned her back. Luckily, Jess always kept a spare change of clothes at the ARC in case of emergencies. She had grabbed that before they left. Standing in the harsh light of Becker’s bathroom she stripped off her dress, and folded it neatly. She changed into the spare jogging pants and loose t-shirt before walking out to meet him in the main room.

He had lost his jacket and tie in the time she’d been gone, and was sitting on the couch. “So, you can take the bedroom,” he said when he saw her. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Jess shook her head. “Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “It’s your apartment, you take the bed. Besides,” she added with a grin. “That couch does not look like it would fit you.”

“No,” he said. “It’s fine, really.”

“Becker,” she said.

“Jess.”

She shook her head and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to him. “I’m not going to sleep in your bed,” she said. “You’re already doing me a favour by letting me stay here. Just--” she gestured vaguely. “A pillow and a blanket and I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said. “Absolutely.”

Besides the practicality of it, there was no way Jess was going to spend the night in his bed. Not without him in it as well, in any case. If he wanted to invite her to share it, well. That was another story all together.

Jess could appreciate that Becker was trying to be a gentleman by offering her his bed. It was one of the qualities she loved most about him. That said, there was no way she was going to spend the night alone in his bed--not when she had spent so much time thinking about the two of them together in it.

He brought her out a blanket and pillow. Jess smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you for letting me stay," she said.

He shook his head. "It's no problem. Are you sure you won't take the bed?" he asked again.  
Jess was sure. After he was gone, she settled onto the couch and turned out the light. It was a long time before she fell asleep.

Jess knew she was awake before she opened her eyes. She could hear Becker moving around, but when she cracked open her eyelids, it was still dark. The glowing light from his television said it was quarter after six. She saw Becker slip out the front door, and heard the lock turn in the door. She closed her eyes again.

The next thing she became aware of was the light streaming in through the windows, and the smell of brewing coffee. She stretched and sat up on the couch. Becker was in the kitchen moving around.

"Good morning," Jess said.

He smiled at her. "Good morning. Did you sleep okay?"

She nodded, and stood up, stretching her back again. The couch had been surprisingly comfortable, she had slept through the entire night. "Yes," she said, and paused. "Did you go out this morning or did I dream that?"

"I did go out,” he said. “For a run. Sorry if I woke you."

She made a face, and walked into the kitchen to join him. "At six in the morning?"

He shrugged. "I go running every morning.”

“At _six in the morning_?” she repeated.

Becker laughed. “Do you want some coffee?" he asked. "Tea?"

"Tea, please."

He turned and started to rummage through the cupboard.

"Do you mind if I take a shower first?" she asked.

He walked down the hall and handed her a towel. "By all means."

She smiled and ducked her head. "Thanks."

She showered quickly, trying not to think about the fact that this was Becker's shower. She was naked in Becker's apartment. It didn't mean anything, of course, but it was hard not to feel awkward.

Clean, she stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around her. She pulled on the jogging pants she had worn to bed, and realised that she hadn't thought to pack a shirt to wear today. Or a bra.

"Shit," she said.

She ran her fingers through her hair a few times getting out most of the tangles. Then she knotted the towel firmly around her and opened the door.

"Becker?" she called.

He walked down the hall. "Yeah?"

"Um, I know this is kind of unusual, but could I maybe borrow a shirt?"

He smiled and walked into the bedroom, appearing a moment later with a folded t-shirt. "Here you go," he said. "It'll be big on you."

She smiled and thanked him, closing the bathroom door. She put on the shirt. It was more than big on her. It was huge. She tied it at the side, making it a little more manageable, and pulled her hair back into a tight braid.

Back in the kitchen, Becker handed her a cup of tea.

"Thanks," she said. "And for the shirt," she gestured down at herself. "I would have put my dress back on, but that seemed a bit walk of shame-y, and…" She trailed off, not sure how to end that sentence with anything other than, "and that didn't seem fair when we didn't even get up to the fun stuff." She let her sentence hang between them.

"No problem," he said.

She sat down at the counter, and sipped on her tea. Becker passed her a couple slices of toast and watched as she buttered them.

"What?" she asked.

He shook his head.

She shrugged and went back to her toast, trying not to think about the fact that she'd have to go home and face Abby and Connor's marital bliss sooner rather than later. She was very decidedly also ignoring the fact that she was sitting in Becker's kitchen, eating breakfast with him wearing his shirt.

They ate in silence, and Jess halfheartedly read the paper. It wasn't really keeping her attention. She looked back up, right into Becker's eyes, and fought down a blush at the intensity of his gaze.

She put her hand up to his face. "Do I have jam on me or something?" she asked.

"No," he said, a small smile quirking his lips.

"Then what?" she asked.

He opened his mouth.

"You're staring," she said.

"I was just thinking," he said.

"Yes?"

"I was just thinking how good my shirt looked on you."

"Oh," she said. This time there was no helping the blush. It spread quick and hot over her face.

He stood suddenly, and walked around the table. Jess stood too, unsure. He was very tall, and she was aware of her bare feet pressing into the cold tile floor, and his shirt covering her. Her outfit was so different than the clothes she always wore to work, the clothes he always saw her wearing. She wrung her fingers together, and he reached out and covered both of her hands with one of his.

She looked up at him through her lashes.

He took her wrists in his hands, his fingers circling them lightly, and they stared at each other for a long moment.

"Jess," he said. "Jessica."

His hands ran up her arms and over her shoulders. He cupped her jaw in his hands and leaned forward. Jess didn't realise that she had been holding her breath until his lips brushed over hers and she let it out in a brief exhale. He kissed her again, pressing his lips against against hers. Jess opened her mouth, and he kissed her deeper; his hands still on her face, holding her gently like he was afraid she would break.

He pulled away, and Jess dropped down onto her heels. She hadn't noticed stepping up on her tiptoes, but she must have during the kiss. To get closer to him. Her hands were pressed to the flat on his stomach, and they stared at each other. Jess resisted the urge to put her hand to her mouth, to press her fingers against her lips as if she could capture the kiss they had just shared.

"Um," she said.

He breathed out a laugh. "Yeah. I've, um," he broke off. His hands were at the base of her neck, and his thumbs stroked her collarbone. "I've wanted to do that for a long time," he admitted.

"You have?"

"God, Jess. Yes."

She had to kiss him again at that. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt, and yanked him down, wrapping one arm around the back of his neck. This kiss wasn't gentle or unsure. She opened her mouth against his, and he pressed hotly up against her body. He licked the inside of her mouth and she let out a small whimper. He slid an arm around behind her back, hitching her closer to him, and she let out a shaky breath.

"Oh god," she said against his lips.

He grinned. The hand on her back was splayed wide. She could feel him through the thin fabric of his t-shirt, and her breasts were pressed up against his chest. He had managed to work a thigh between her legs, and she felt very snug up against him, and very, very vulnerable.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to kiss you," he told her.

Jess laughed. "I think I have some idea," she said.

He grinned down at her, kissed her jaw, and behind her ear. She tried not to whimper. Her arms were around his shoulders, and he lifted her, depositing her on the kitchen table. He stepped between her legs, his hands on her thighs.

She threw back her head, and he ran his hands up her legs, and around her back, before they came up to tangle in her hair. He kissed her again on the mouth, dirty and sloppy, and she felt a hot pool of desire unfurl in the pit of her stomach. She ran her hands over his shoulders, enjoying the feel of his body against hers.

"Wait, wait," she said pulling back after a long moment. "What are we doing?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I rather hoped that would be clear."

She smacked him on the chest. "I mean," she trailed off not sure how to put her feelings into words, and scared that even if she _could_ it would scare him off. "I mean, I like you," she said.

He grinned and kissed her again quickly and fiercely on the mouth. "Me too," he said.

"Oh," she said. "Really?"

He grinned again. "Yes," he said. "Really."

She considered this for a moment. "Well then," she said smiling at him. "In that case, you can resume kissing me."

He did. And as it turned out, she got to sleep in his bed after all.


End file.
